


sulit

by CuddlyCookie1360



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Canon Compliant, Dreams and Nightmares, Elves, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Holding Hands, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Light Angst, Near Death Experiences, Post-Canon, Rayllum, Touching, callum has anxietyTM, guys these kids i cant--, parental rayllum, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 01:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuddlyCookie1360/pseuds/CuddlyCookie1360
Summary: Callum wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.





	sulit

**Author's Note:**

> lol i don't know where the part with ezran fits in but go off i guess 
> 
> also i've only ever written in past tense for the past, i don't know, 10 years?????? so if my tense is wrong somewhere that's why

4.

 

The first time they touch without her swords to his throat or her pretending to be kidnapping him and Ezran or them nearly falling to their deaths is his hand on her shoulder.

 

She gave a spiel on her parents misdeeds and how much the mission means to her, and for the first time Callum feels like he can really trust her. He knows that she's fully committed to their mission, and he can confidently say that he will be able to sleep soundly around her without the fear in the back of his mind of her slaughtering him or worse, Ezran, in their sleep. 

 

He feels terrible about what the humans did and how much it affected her life even though he's just met her, and not even a day ago he was calling her a bloodthirsty monster and although he hates to admit it, part of him was skeptical about it being false. He decides he doesn't like seeing her upset. He doesn't like seeing anyone upset; one time he had accidentally stepped on a spider, and Ezran had cried for days which made Callum feel horrible, but he ended up doing the jerk-face dance and that had made everything better. He can tell how her feelings are much stronger than that; he may be dumb, but he's not an idiot, and he wants to let her know that he and Ezran are there for her but he doesn't know how to with words.

 

So when she turns around in shame, he puts his hand on her shoulder. He's not sure whether that has some deep meaning in Xadia and he shouldn't be touching her within a week of knowing her, or if he should be touching her at all, but he hears her inhale in surprise and she turns her head, and he takes that as an invitation.

 

"Rayla, I'm so sorry for what humans did." He knows he shouldn't be apologizing for something he didn't personally do; he's been lectured about doing that too often, but he's not always a master of words so he says what he thinks is right.

 

She doesn't jerk out of his grasp, but she slides away respectfully, which he supposes is better than she could've reacted. She could've screamed at him or something; he doubts she would pull her blades on him but there's still a small chance. 

 

She twirls her hands in front of her. "So you see, that's why I have to make things right. When I first came here, I was on a quest for revenge. But the moment I saw that egg, everything changed."

 

She looks at him with so much sincerity and fire in her eyes it almost makes him recoil, and she declares, "Now, this is a journey of redemption."

 

He puts an arm around Ezran and Bait, and he realizes he doesn't have to give some fancy speech to let her know that they're there. "We're in this together," he says, and he really means it. He really,  _really_  means it, and he's never felt so strongly about anything in his life, and his heart swells with joy and appreciation for all of them.

 

So when the boat comes back along the riverbank, and Rayla tenses and overdramatically points out how the boat is drifting away, he decides to go along with it and let her have her way. But then the boat comes back, and she facepalms as if her and the mini ship had some sort of plan the boat didn't follow. He figures it's given them enough trouble already, and so Callum wanders over to the capsized boat and kicks it away using his foot with a sigh and a "goodbye, boat." 

 

"Thank you," she says, and Callum doesn't need to look over to see her smiling because he knows she is. And he would be right.

 

As the sun sets over the horizon, Callum thinks he wouldn't trade their little quartet for anything in the world.

 

***

 

3.

 

The next time they touch, its a little more desperate and a lot less happy.

 

Ezran makes a spilt second decision and dives after the egg, even though Callum warned him not to. He disappears into the water, and Callum shouts his name, but there's no way he can hear him in the water. He falls to his knees and peers down at the water but he can't see him, and he declares, "I'm going in after him," even though he knows that's the last thing he should do.

 

Rayla rushes over shouting "don't!" and she loops her arms under his and hauls him away from the break in the ice. They fall backwards and he lands on top of her, but he has no time to worry about squishing her underneath him.

 

He still asks, "What? Why?" even though he knows the answer, but he needs to go after his little brother,  _needs_ to make sure he's safe. Ezran is smart and strong but he still worries about him because Ezran is his  _little brother,_ and his job is to protect him and Callum is going to _fail._ He's going to fail, and he can only imagine the look on his Aunt Amaya's face or Claudia's face or Soren's face or even King Harrow's face  ~~if he managed to survive~~  if they knew he failed to keep his little brother safe. He was willing to give his life for him before; he would gladly do it again if he had to.

 

"He'll get it," Rayla says, keeping her hold on him even as he struggles to get out. "He'll save the egg."

 

He wants to yell at her that it's not about the egg anymore, it's about his little brother, the one who cried when he stepped on a bug and tried to work with raccoons to find him treasure and found the egg in the  _first place_ ,but even in his panicky state he doesn't have the heart to raise his voice at her anymore. Not when his little brother is in danger.

 

Callum manages to break free of her hold, and he scampers off of her towards the lake, but she's up just as quickly as he is and she wraps both her hands around his wrist to pull him back. "We have to believe in him. And we're going to need to be here to pull him out."

 

He knows she's right; she's only telling him things that the logical part of his mind was already supplying, but he's ready to argue with her more. He looks back at her and sees her face, and he can tell she thinks he doesn't believe her, he doesn't trust her, and he does but he can't say that because he's too worried about Ezran.

 

"He's just a kid!" Callum states, because it's true even if it's something he tends to forget sometimes because of how confident and wise Ezran can be. 

 

"He's brave and strong," she replies, and of course he agrees because those are things he's thought of Ezran as himself. "He can do this."

 

Of course Callum agrees, of course he knows Ezran is strong and brave and smart and deserves to be the crown prince, but what Rayla doesn't get is that he's  _still_  going to worry  _anyways._ Ezran is his brother, his  _little_ brother, and Callum's job is to keep him safe until he doesn't need to anymore, but he can't do that if he can't even see him through the stupid water. Ezran is counting on him, has been since they were little, and now Callum's failed him by being too weak to help him when he needs it most.

 

So he jerks his hand out of Rayla's grip, and part of him feels bad about it but he squishes that part down, and he dashes over to the gap to see if by some chance Ezran is there with the egg. He's grows impatient quickly and chants, "Come on. Come on!"

 

Rayla is there to assure him, "It's going to be okay. Ez will get it."

 

It turns into a waiting game after that. A slow, agonizing waiting game where every second ticks by slower than it should and Callum grows more and more consumed by worry as time goes on. His stomach ties into knots and then unties the knots and ties new knots, and his hands shake and his knees shake and everything shakes because he's cold and hungry and  _worried,_ but he can't move or blink because he might miss him. They sit there for what could've been hours, but everything fades around him except for the blue, blue water staring back at him as if it were saying he's stupid for having hope. He's stupid for thinking Ezran will be fine and the egg will be fine and everything will be fine. He's stupid for going on that journey in the first place because now it's going to cost Ezran his life and the egg it's life and all their efforts will be for nothing.

 

"You were wrong," he says at last, because as the wind rushes by and the water remains still, there's no one else to talk to but her. "He's not coming back."

 

It's a cold, cold reality, and Callum can already feel his worry slipping away into something along the lines of numbness, and he blocks everything out, every thought, every feeling, until he doesn't feel anything but nothing. Nothing could bring Ezran back. Nothing could bring the egg back. Nothing was going to be okay.

 

He would never get to see Ezran laugh or smile or play or grow up or become king or return the egg or hug him or talk with Bait or see their mission through because he's  _gone,_ and it hits Callum so hard he has to sit back that he doesn't have  _any_  family left. He has no one, no mother, no father, no brother, just the elf sitting next to him who dropped the egg in the lake and cause all this in the first place, and yet he can't find it in himself to be angry with her. He can't find it in himself to feel anything anymore.

 

"I'm so sorry," she says, and he can tell she means it but he also knows she has no idea what it's like to sit there helplessly as his little brother dies in a stupid lake for a stupid egg and it's stupid. "I- I thought he would be able to."

 

Callum brings a hand up to his mouth as the numbness wears off and it _really_ hits him that he has  _no one_  left. He's the last one standing, and he doesn't deserve to be the last one standing because he's helpless and dumb and clumsy and stupid, stupid,  _stupid!_ It's stupid, and he hates it and he hates the ice and he hates the egg for being dropped and he hates the humans for taking it and he hates the elves for not trying to make peace and he hates the stupid binding around Rayla's wrist that causes all this in the first place!

 

"He's alive! The binding is still tight," she yells, and Callum looks over in disbelief but oh, he believes her when he sees it still wrapped around her wrist because he'll hold onto any shred of hope at that point, and she rushes to her feet and says, "Ez is still alive. He has to be."

 

Callum gets to his feet too, and although he still feels numb he shuts off every part of his brain that wants to curl into a ball, and he channels his anger and grief into determination to find his brother. They hear pounding on the ice and dash over, Rayla sliding ahead of him. She brandishes her blade and pounds it against the ice, cracking it and cracking it a little more and a little more until it gives way and Ezran rises to the top, drenched and pale but _alive._

 

She reaches to grab his shirt, and he grabs her foot and drags them backwards until Ezran and the egg are out of the water. The egg rolls out of his arms, but Callum doesn't really care right now, and he makes his way over to Ezran first.

 

"Ezran?" he asks, hoping that somehow he can hear him this time. He pulls his little brother close to his chest and tries to stop from crying at how _cold_  his little brother is. "Ez... Ez, you saved it. You got the egg back. You did it!"

 

Ezran doesn't respond, and Callum holds his head away enough to see his little brother's face, and he almost starts sobbing. His skin is pale and purple and cold and Callum is so  _scared._ He can't lose him too, he  _can't._ "Please, Ezran, you gotta be okay. Just say something."

 

Rayla silently walks over, and they wait again, hoping that Ezran will wake up and laugh and tell them everything is okay. He doesn't quite do that, but he exhales and slowly opens his eyes, which stand out against his purple skin, and he says, "I think I got a case of the frozie-toesies."

 

Callum laughs a little, both out of relief and because  _of course_  that's the first thing Ezran says, and he carefully wraps his arms around his brother and holds him close. Rayla joins in and circles her arms around them both, humming a little, and he feels more at home then he's ever been with Ezran in his arms and Callum in Rayla's. He closes his eyes and just  _breathes,_ and Callum is reminded of how he wouldn't trade their trio for anything in the world.

 

***

 

2.

 

They're in an elven town when they hold hands for the first time.

 

Callum could never really understand Rayla's apprehension back in the human kingdoms. She had rushed from place to place, eyes darting around, constantly pulling her hood further down her head. She joked about her "perfect" human disguise, but as they walked around, her shoulders were square and she hunched in on herself. She kept her voice low and her senses sharp, and he didn't know why; surely there was nothing to worry about. 

 

He understands now.

 

The town is quite large, around the size of a human neighborhood. There's market stalls lined around a grassy path and a fountain in the center of town and tall buildings and short buildings and in-between buildings, and it reminds him of the towns back home on his side of the border. The buildings appear to be woven from the Earth itself, as vines twist over roofs and instead of sidewalks, there's just grass areas with nothing on them. It buzzes with nature and wonder and  _life,_ and Callum can see why Rayla loves Xadia so much. 

 

But it's hard to be excited when there's so much danger.

 

He's surrounded by elves of all kinds, mainly Sunfire elves since they're close to the Border, but there's a few Moonshadow Elves passing through and even some Skywing ones. The elves don't stare for longer than a few seconds, but some of them raise an eyebrow at him and he sheepishly smiles. He can tell he looks suspicious, and he can feel it too. He feels almost itchy in his mediocre disguise, like he doesn't belong and he feels everyone else knows it too. 

 

His hood is up, and his pinky is squished in with his ring finger in his gloves. It's uncomfortable, but he doesn't complain. It's better than leaving his hands out in the open. Rayla had painted markings along his cheeks with crushed berries; she told him they resembled Moonshadow markings like hers, except a bit different. If he could've had it his way, he would've like to be disguised as a Skywing elf, but he takes what he can get. His heart buzzes at the thought of being like her. Zym squirms in his backpack, which is hidden under the cloak. He wants to tell the baby dragon to stop, but Rayla ordered him not to speak, so he doesn't as she talks to some of the vendors manning a stand.

 

But when they're walking through the streets, it's a different story. He jumps up and down and whisper-yells about his excitement to her, and she smiles and shakes her head and quietly reminds him to keep his voice down. She taps him on the arm a couple times to get him to stop hopping from foot to foot, and they get strange looks as his eyes wander around in awe. Rayla does her best to dispel those looks by glaring back, and they continue on their merry way.

 

It lasts until they reach the center of town, which Callum thinks is beautiful, by the way. The polished fountain's water glows as it cascades down. Benches made of sticks and moss make a circle around the fountain. Overgrown trees curve throughout the area, bending close enough to the ground in some places to be able to sit on. Elves roam around, children laugh and mothers watch, and Callum revels in the atmosphere. He makes a quick note to sketch it later.

 

There's a group of elves on the side that look at him and Rayla hesitantly, eyes scrunched as if they're trying to figure them out. He can tell they mean business as well; they stand dignified in their uniforms, and he can see Sunforge Blades by their sides. He does his best to ignore them, even though their stares burn through him like holes in cheese. Rayla looks at them apprehensively.

 

He figures she'll take care of them if she has to, and he moves to dash a bit ahead. He doesn't get far, because Rayla grabs his gloved hand and yanks him back. He stumbles and stops in front of her. 

 

"Those elves over there are looking at your hands," she explains, and although he's only showing four fingers, it's clear that his "fourth" finger is a lot thicker than the others. She tugs him along towards the fountain, not letting go of his hand. He raises a brow, and her cheeks turn pink. "It's so your hands are more hidden, dummy."

 

He suspects that's not the only reason, but he doesn't argue; he quite likes holding her hand anyways. Their fingers fit together a bit awkwardly, and he imagines they would actually intertwine better if he had all five fingers free. It's a nice thought, that their hands would fit perfectly together, and he finds himself smiling dumbly as Rayla leads him around the town.

 

She doesn't let go. He doesn't ask her to. Her hand squeezes his, and Callum is reminded of how he wouldn't trade their pair for anything the world.

 

***

 

1.

 

Callum has a nightmare one night.

 

He's had bad dreams before, heck, dark magic gave him one of the worst bad dreams he's ever had. But that bad dream and all the other bad dreams he's had over the years are nothing like this dream. Those were all bad dreams. This was a nightmare.

 

He's back in the castle, back before Rayla and Ezran and Bait and him left with the egg, back before they fought a water monster, back before the egg was dropped in a lake, back before they made it to Xadia. He first dreams of when the elves reached the tower and he stood powerlessly out in the hall and called out for the King- his dad. 

 

But then it's Ezran in his place, and Callum calls out for his brother but he doesn't hear him and he watches the assassins break into the room while he can't move and he hears Ezran scream and--

 

He wakes up with Rayla peering at him from the other side of the fire and Zym curled up by his side. He gasps and gasps and gasps but he can't find air, and he knows he just needs to breathe, but he  _can't,_ he can't breathe just like how he can't bring back the Ki- his dad, and he can't help Ezran and he  _can't do anything._

 

Rayla's over by his side in a second when she realizes that there's a problem. He can feel her short nails dig into his arm and her hand squeeze his, and he can hear her voice but he also can't, just like how he couldn't save his brother and he couldn't do magic and he can't breathe- he  _can't_ breathe, he  _can't breathe--_

 

"Callum!" Rayla's voice breaks through, and she places his hand over her heart and he can feel it  _thump, thump, thump_  under her clothes and his glove and his palm. She gazes at him patiently but with worry, and he focuses on her breathing and tries to replicate it.

 

In, out.

 

In, out.

 

She circles her arms around him and he lets her, because it's been three weeks and he doesn't mind her being close anymore. Zym's woken up as well, and he rubs his head against Callum's leg in silent comfort. He brings his arms up and embraces Rayla in return, and he focuses on how her hair smells like moonberries and how smooth her clothes are and how she feels curled next to him, and before he knows it he remembers how to  _breathe_ again.

 

She pulls away first, and he misses her hold already, her  _warmth_  already. Her eyes sparkle and he suddenly notices how purple they are, and he really wishes he had colors so he could properly sketch them. Zym nods at him, as if he's proud of how Callum has calmed down, and he leaves them be and returns to sleeping around Callum's backpack.

 

"Are you alright?" She asks, soft and caring, and she puts a hand on his shoulder like they do sometimes. He nods, because he doesn't think he can form words right now, and she seems pleased with his answer. 

 

"Go back to sleep," she whispers. She moves to stand and Callum panics, because there's no _way_  he's going back to sleep after that nightmare. He grabs her hand and she looks quizzicality at him before she sits back down, next to him this time.

 

He leans his head on her shoulder, and she tilts her head so it's on his as well. They lace their fingers together and stare out at the fire and the night sky through the mouth of the cave. Callum knows he's falling back asleep even though he doesn't want to, but with Rayla by his side he feels a lot more comfortable because he trusts that she can handle anything, even his nightmares. He peers up at her before he falls asleep and sees her snowy hair and purple eyes and plum markings and squishy cheeks and pink lips, and Callum is reminded of how he wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

 

***

 

0.

 

That night sparks a change.

 

They're never _not_ touching after that. Rayla grabs his arm and Callum puts his hand on her shoulder and she lightheartedly jabs him in the side and he knocks his foot against her leg and she ruffles his hair and he slings his arm around her shoulders, and he's never loved anything more.

 

They hold hands a lot too. It helps when they travel through elven towns; his fingers are hidden within hers and most of the elves are more focused on their display of affection rather than his lackluster disguise. She leads him through streets and he tugs her over to monuments that catch his eye, and she taps his hand to get him to be quieter and he squeezes her hand when he sees something interesting. They've silently agreed to lock hands before they pass through town gates, and they've agreed to not release them until they have to take off his disguise later in the day.

 

Nighttime is his favorite time though, because they huddle together and fall asleep cuddled up next to each other and wake up with each other. He likes tucking his head under her chin, and she likes his arms around her. They swap between who's hugging who, and Callum finds he doesn't really mind either way so long as Rayla is close by. Sometimes Zym curls up by their feet, other times in Rayla's lap, and sometimes he leaves them be because he's getting too big and doesn't fit into that night's arrangement. They never forget about him though, and Rayla is sure to reward him with more food the next day when the previous night he'd left them alone.

 

They don't say anything about it. They don't have to; Callum figured out that he loves her after that night when they first started sleeping near each other, and he figured out she loves him when she put a flower behind his ear and called him beautiful. He knows she knows too because he'll circle his arms around her shoulders while she's crushing berries, and she lets him and nuzzles her cheek against his before returning to her task.

 

So when she presses her lips against his one night in the rain, Callum isn't surprised.

 

When they get to a cave and he pulls her down to sit in his lap and nuzzles his cheek against her neck, Rayla isn't surprised.

 

When she presses their foreheads together and boops her nose against his and tells him she loves him, Callum isn't surprised.

 

And when the first thing he sees when he wakes up four years later is her tucked against his back with her horns fitting perfectly around his head and his arms ringing around her waist and he feels the ring on her finger through his hand, Callum is reminded of how he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> if i had a dollar for every time i had a run-on sentence i would have a lot of dollars


End file.
